I didn’t retire. I graduated.
As I wrote earlier this year, I haven’t seriously invested in my career or a paying job in a while, and it took me several years to embrace the idea that I did not intend to invest in or seek one going forward. My best friend, who I am celebrating my 28th anniversary with today, is also preparing to graduate from his paid obligations early next year. Less than 7 months from today we will begin celebrating his graduation too. So, I have been thinking more about what that means for both of us.
Some people call this retirement, but frankly at 58 and 61 that just feels too limiting. I’d like to retire the word “retirement.” Retirement is often perceived as an ending, a final withdrawal, moving on to a quiet place to slow down. Retire is to go inside. Retire is to go to bed. This is not my state of mind. I feel more awake, more present, and more motivated than ever. I intend to capitalize on that energy, invest, and share along the way.
So, let’s call this stage the “untethering”, because what we’re really talking about is financial independence. The moment your savings, investments, family, and health insurance stop needing you to show up to a job to survive. That’s the day you get fired by obligation and hired by curiosity. You can finally work on whatever you want, for exactly as many hours as feels right. Some days this is ten hours, and some days it is “I’m going to go hang out with lemurs now and have a glass of wine.”
That’s where I’ve landed. Not retired, just finally off the clock that never asked what I wanted. For my husband and me this is our next chapter, our third stage, our untethering. Not a retirement.
Long ago I completed stage one: childhood, soaking up everything and sprinting toward adulthood like it was a finish line instead of the marathon it was. Then hurriedly on to stage two: adulthood, freedom to make my own choices, generously bundled with a lifetime subscription of family and career obligations I never remember agreeing to explicitly, but grateful they fell into my lap. Truth is, I didn’t love every job or role I took on, but I’m deeply proud of both my career and my family. The knowledge, perspective, and growth they gave me are still paying out today.
Now, stage three: untethered, the subscription mostly paid off, and I’m spending my investments, time, experience and money, enthusiastically on whatever brings me the most joy and good health going forward. Folding in my family, friends and friendly strangers any chance I get along the way.
And yes, I fully expect a stage four, decades from now, when I finally slow down on purpose instead of collapsing into it, ideally surrounded by the people I love. This of course is not meant as a threat to my offspring who will be well into their own journey’s stages by then. It’s more of a… calendar save-the-date. A gentle, loving heads-up that Mom or Dad intend to be near, and may one day be living down the street. But that’s a future chapter, that I’m not ready to write yet.
Next chapter: The Untethered Stage Three.
As a side note, I’d like to think it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. It is not lost on me, and I don’t take it for granted that my husband and I are lucky to be able to graduate and begin our untethering earlier than many others, especially in an economic and political environment as uncertain as ours has become. Therefore, I do intend to give back in more ways than one. How I do this is part of our next adventure. I suspect it will include continued research, the love of animals, many more lemurs, and an active role in my community and the things that make life better for everyone. Maybe it will include a historical novel of some sort. We’ll see, and I promise to share as we go.
For now, I intend to follow my passions and curiosity. Stay present with those I love. Work the polls in November. Volunteer at the San Diego Zoo, and share through my writings what I continue to learn, along with the bumps in the road, and my revelations as I continue this journey with all in tow.
Consider this your invitation to ride along untethered. The road is always better with company, and I believe the view only improves once you stop staring at the GPS.
So, let’s go.
Stay educated. Think critically. Every day matters.
